Attention, Starbucks!

I know that Starbucks is an evil power and can basically do whatever they want, but why are they hiring rude morons to serve us? In the long run, it's gonna drive business away, which is ridiculous since they've easily cornered the overpriced coffee market.

I've had the pleasure of dealing with one of these morons recently on a trip to the Starbucks in Cincinnati's lovely Rookwood Pavillion. It's the Disney World of mall shopping, folks. Anyway, here's a dramatic interpretation of the incident:

Me: One Grande Mild coffee, please. (my usual order)

Crazy Starbucks Guy: A dollar, seventy-five.

(at this point, it seems like it's going to be a normal Starbucks experience. But alas, no. Money exchanges. And then....)

CSG: All right, so one small coffee, right? (CSG holds a small cup up to me, like I need a visual representation)

Me (confused): No, I said "grande."

CSG (exasperated, yelling and shaking the small cup at me): What?! Now, wait a second you said you wanted a tall coffee. Small! You said a tall coffee!

Me (baffled and angry): I gave you a dollar seventy-five.
CSG glances at the cash register.

CSG: Oh.

No apology or anything. He pours the coffee, hands it to me, says nothing and moves on to ruin someone else's morning. A completely awful and awkward experience. I want the coffee, but I'm not goin' through that. Also, after complaining about this at work, I found out several of my co-workers have dealt with this guy too. He has a reputation! How does he even have a job?

So, as a public service, I've roughly sketched the guy (above). Avoid him at all costs! And, if you're in a position of power in the Starbucks machine you might want to find a way to demote him to stockroom clerk or something so he deals with the public in no way whatsoever.

You're welcome, America!


Dan said...

I've ordered from that guy too! I can't remember what happened exactly, but it was a little on the bizzare side. It was the one damn time I have gone to that Starbucks in the last year. Crazy.

Oh, your drawing is pretty life-like, actually.

brad said...

Go somewhere else.

Gina said...

Let's make a video of him.

Ronson said...

Oh, don't worry about that! I'm totally boycotting that place! They shall receive none of my business...

unless I have to make a covert video of him...hmmmm, good idea, Gina!

Kelly said...

Oh, man! I was about to go to that one! (I usually go to the Hyde Park Plaza Starbucks, but I like to change it up a little so I don't become a "regular" and have to make small talk about my job and my cat, when really all I want it my goddamn coffee.)

I'll give you a full report.