Since Kari's in New York, the need and desire to catch folks up on Bravo's leading show about random professionals competing for things has waned. In fact, I just noticed a couple months of episodes piling up on my DVR. So, as a public service to those who followed my 100-word recaps in the past, I will attempt to catch you up on the first 10 episodes of season five right here, right now:
Episode one: Jerry designs this weird, fabric-y mess. He's out. He kinda deserves it.
Episode two: The designers must design specifically for their models, who also must pick the fabric for the challenge. Wesley gets bumped cuz his model likes crappy fabric. A bit unfair, but that's PR.
Episode three: Being influenced by NYC. What is with that weird ruffle? See ya, Emily. Suede wins, heaven help us all.
Episode four: America! Designing an outfit for the Olympic ceremony. Bland as Hades Jennifer finally gets the boot.
Episode five: This is your reminder that Brooke Shields is still around! She's got that Lipstick Warfare show or whatever. It's a team challenge, so you know it's gonna get ugly. Kelly's taste is questioned and she's launched.
Episode six: Kevin's appearance on the show last season proves to be more highly influential than we could ever imagine as the gang must design outfits for drag queens. Joe wins. Who knows, must be something about that goatee style. Despite his arguing, Daniel gets the axe, for designing the most normal looking dress. Blayne, somehow, continues to survive.
Episode seven: Saturn finally crosses another line. The designers must make outfits using parts of...Saturns! It's weird how the jokes eventually become reality. Alternately cocky/big baby Keith gets the boot and this is somewhat satisfying.
Episode eight: Diane von Furstenberg asks the designers to create a look for fall. For those who don't know (including me) she's a HUGE name in fashion. Kenley is stressed and can't stop crying. I dub her Jillian II. Cartoonishly New Yawk, "leatha"-obsessed Stella ends her reign of hammering tyranny. She's gone.
Episode nine: It's the avant garde challenge of the season. AND it's based on astrological signs. Oh boy. On this one they work with the previously eliminated designers. Even Jerry gets to join the gang! It's a massacre-style round of eliminations: way-too-tan and on for way-too-long Blayne and decent designer Terri both get eliminated. Damn, it would suck to have to have to be double elimintated. Especially with Blayne.
Episode ten: Reality show lines are blurred even further as the designers makeover college students. The group have finally started to get catty with each other. In fact they seem to hate each other. Joe goes waaaaaaay off base by designing some crappy 80s-style outfit for her poor graphic designer. He's eliminated.
And that's where we are! For those who have followed along this long, that means we're down to Jerrell, Kenley, Korto, Leanne and (ugh) Suede. Maybe I'll follow along more closely for the last four eps now that we've gotten this far. I might even write 100 words again. Who knows? Stay tuned!
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