7.01.2008

At the Cardio Cinema: Untitled Sandra Bullock Project

A Cardio Cinema first! I watched about 25 minutes of a movie and had no clue what it was...can you figure it out?
Movie: ?

Running length:
20 minutes, 5-minute cool down

Review:
Sandy (as I call her) Bullock has created her own genre. As far as I can figure out, it involves weird things happening to life's timeline without the slightest attempt of explanation of why things are the way they are, just a simple acknowledgment that it's happenin', it's weird, and we gotta stop it. The best (and worst) example of this is a little film called The Lake House which I saw while bored on a plane once. Ours is apparently not to wonder how, but just hope Sandy and Keanu get to makin' out.

So, it's been awhile, but I'm gonna try to give you a rundown of what I saw. The basic idea was that Sandra Bullock keeps waking up every morning and wakes to a horrible new adventure each day, but it's all jumbled up and out of place. The main plot is that her husband is killed somehow, but there are various nasty subplots. For example, in one day it's revealed that Sandy's dead (oh but wait, now alive!) husband has been cheating on her. Also, in a classic "why-is-this-film-being-shown-in-cardio-cinema" moment, Sandy's daughter accidentally runs through a plate glass window (spoiler alert - oops) and has to be rushed to the hospital. They spared no expense on the blood in this one. Sorta creeped me out and really did nothing to keep my heart rate down during that fifteenth minute...

Other than that, there's a scene where she's trying to explain her situation to a psychologist that recalls a scene in Bill Murray's Groundhog Day, only this scene is serious...and terrible.

Annnnnnd that's all I got. Do you know the name of this mystery film?

Good: I have to say, I was slightly curious in how it all played out, even though in my head I knew no attempt to explain why these things were happening would ever be revealed.

Bad: It was a movie in the 2000s starring Sandra Bullock. Also, no one else even slightly famous was in it. You couldn't even even do the "oh, at least there's Wanda Sykes. She'll be entertaining." It's just you and a buncha strangers hanging out with Sandra Bullock.

Grade: D+ The plus is for keeping my curiosity peaked on how the movie might end. The D is for how it undoubtedly ended in disappointment. I can't keep this from you any longer – click the comments, where I've revealed the name of this mystery feature...

2 comments:

Ronson said...

The mystery film is the 2007 suspense thriller Premonition. Hm. No wonder I didn't know it. That brainstorming meeting must've been a little dry.

Kelly said...

I never saw that movie, but I actually knew which one you were talking about based on the plot description.

Last night I was at a party, and I couldn't remember the name of someone I'd been introduced to multiple times - but I remember the name, star, and basic plot of a movie I have no interest in ever seeing.