3.10.2008

At The Cardio Cinema: License To Wed

Why do I torture myself? This should be about fitness dammit!

Movie: License To Wed (2007, full runtime 91 minutes)

Running length:
22 minutes, 5 minute cool down

Review: Somehow, the theater setup in the fancy new Bellevue Urban Active is one of the worst I've been in - you can hardly hear a thing. Though I worked out in the back, so that might have had something to do with it. And don't get me wrong, in the case of License To Wed, it was sweet mercy.

Basically, a bunch of people I generally enjoy (and Robin Williams) falling and flailing along through the whopping 27 minutes I saw of it. I can't see why so many people I otherwise enjoy chose this sinking ship of a project. Most of all, I wished John K and I were pals, so I could've told him not to do this movie. They really push him to be the likable lead and it's painfully obvious. "Look he's wearing long-sleeved t-shirts and polos and khakis -- just like you, Joe Average Slacker! This is what it'd be like if you were marrying Mandy Moore!"

Plot: Seriously? I guess they're getting married. But they can't have sex, and Robin Williams and his chubby weird little kid sidekick have to bug the place to secretly make sure that ain't happenin'...because apparently it's the 80s again. Did I mention that Robin Williams is a priest? It probably doesn't matter.

Good: It gave several actors and actresses that I generally like a paycheck. Every once in awhile I could go "Hey, there's Wanda Sykes! And there's Kevin from The Office! And there's...Angela from The Office! Hey, there's the mom from Twin Peaks!" Etc.

Bad: Going into this one, the only thing I knew for sure was that there were some twin messed-up looking robotic babies and I was hoping I'd just miss that whole part. Nope. Starting at about 7 minutes into my run, I saw the whole weird baby schtick from beginning to end, where John Krasinski crushes one of the robot baby's heads to make it stop crying. Yep, sounds about as funny as how I just described it.

Grade: F+ I mean seriously, if by some virtue I managed to miss the creepy babies, this movie might have squeaked by with a C- or a D-, but that someone on that set so clearly thought creepy robotic babies were funny, and further, no one else involved with the movie didn't intervene signifies a problem symbolic of the whole damn movie. The lesson I took away was that even if you're talented and good-natured, ya gotta make a sucky movie every once in awhile to pay the bills. That saddens me a little.

3 comments:

G said...

Maybe I'll bump into you at the cardio cinema! I saw they were playing that movie on Tuesday. was tempted to watch it, but now I'm glad I didn't.

julie said...

I'm really holding out for the Cardio Review "Over Her Dead Body" with Eva Longoria-Parker. I mean, whew, like License, it just had so much potential. (or, not any.)

Ronson said...

I am a little surprised that "Over Her Dead Body" has yet to grace the screen during my Cardio Cinema trips yet. They tend to do movies with little to no profanity, so maybe that's it. Arms getting chopped up, sure, just watch the language.

Hey Gretchen -- yeah, I just started going to the Bellevue location, but I can see why it's become so popular so quickly. They need to fix that theater though...