Above is the latest and greatest from the "dumb things Ronson has done in the last two months" file. It has been recreated in "wacky cartoon style" since the real story is waaaay to painful.

Here it is:

The stairs leading up to my place are a disaster, especially in snow-related insanity. Well, in Cincinnati this past week, it's been a snow and ice disaster. Friday, I was carrying the Valentine's Day flowers I bought for my girlfriend down these treacherous stairs. In fact, so much of my concentration was focused on them entirely. I had sort of forgotten that the sidewalk and the streets were equally snowy and icy. On about the third step toward my car, I started going down.

It was a slow, annoying fall. I managed to regain my balance a couple of times and didn't want to let go of the flowers in fear of the glass vase breaking and things getting really nasty. Instead I fell slowly and steadily, my knees made it to the ground without incident, my right arm was able to drop the vase right at the moment it hit the ground. But my left arm. Nope, not so lucky with that one.

My left arm was working on balancing out the rest of my body since my right arm was already occupied. It kept stretching further and further (on more ice) until it reached the furthest it could go. I don't remember hearing a snap (or anything, I think I was already yelling at this point), but I could definitely feel the arm going out of whack. It reminded me of how when I was a kid, I used to bring back the arms of my action figures into these unusual and awkward positions. Only it wasn't so cool happening to me.

My instinct was to jump up (which I did) and try to figure out was wrong. I could feel my arm but I couldn't move my fingers. I was a little panicked, but somehow let my arm go limp (I think this is what Kari was suggesting) and in a second it popped back into place. I could bend my arm and move my fingers again, but I was still in some major pain and even more shock.

Since this was Friday night and it doesn't seem like much of an emergency anymore (and I had no interest in paying emergency room prices), I decided to hold off and call the doctor on Monday. While this might not be the best move for several reasons, it's mainly meant three rather painful days of trying to figure out what exactly is wrong. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't. There's no bruising, which according to my mom means there might be a slight fracture. Whoopie. Can't wait to find out.

Lessons? No lessons. It's just some annoying crap that ruined my weekend. However it's a somewhat gross story that I can tell people at parties and inspired me to put together a little illustration. It might be my first contribution to Illustration Friday. This week's subject is "gravity."

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