Ronson Vs. Milk (and milk products)

Saving the world, one pointless rant at a time. It's time to square off vs. milk (and milk products).

The story: How much money have I lost purchasing milk and other products from the dairy world (including cheese, half and half, yogurt, ice cream, etc. - fortunately I've never been suckered into cottage cheese which I nominate for the Nastiest Food Of All Time Hall of Fame, which at press time, has yet to be created). Anyway, I would place my losses at roughly 1.2 million dollars.

I'm just one person. And they don't make milk in a size to meet my basic dairy consumption needs. Nature's cruelest joke is what milk turns into in roughly a week and a half after you purchase it. An even crueler joke is what milk turns into when it accidentally stays in your refrigerator for two months. That's happened to you, right? Whew, I thought so.

UPDATE: Yesterday morning I had milk in my cereal that I presume had gone slightly sour. It was disgusting.

Let's not forget cheese. How many times do you include cheese in your meals? I would like to purchase cheese by the dash. I rarely need two cups of cheese for anything, unless maybe I'm having a Taco Bar or a Phlegm Party and that's only happened one or two times.

Ice cream, I love ya, but you're turning us all into fat asses.

Winner: Milk (and milk products). It's a K.O. really. Bottom line, I need them, so I can't cut them out completely. And cereal is just lame trail mix without milk. To all you lactose intolerant folks out there, my heart goes out to you. For more about our dairy family, check out this informative Wikipedia entry.


Kari said...

Take back what you said about cereal and cottage cheese! Outrageous! (Especially cereal..)

Ronson said...

I stand by my cottage cheese statement, but I will say that some cereals might be slightly delicious sans milk. Specifically Mother's Brand Peanut Butter Bumpers.