100-word Project Runway recap FINALE PART ONE

More Runway insanity! It's 2 months later:

Tim Gunn and his Saturn Roadster check on the finalists. First, Michael. His work looks shaky but Tim hangs with his family anyway. New York. Architect Woman's kid offers Tim turtle crap. Miami. Uli has no family or friends. Sad! Last, L.A. Tattoo Neck's work impresses Tim to hug level.

Back in NY. Everyone has problems, except Tattoo Neck who gets another hug. He then does nothing for two days. AW thinks something's up... jealousy or legit?

She and Tim talk on the veranda. AW thinks Tatt cheated. A tiny bit. Tim says the producers will investigate. Then, because she's crazy, AW confronts Tattoo too. He freaks in a guilty-ish way.

Next Week: Dramatic conclusion! Tattoo Neck gets booted from the competition and has to get the word "Cheater" tattooed to his forehead. Architect Woman, after putting too much effort into the "Tattoo Neck shakedown," forgets to design the rest of her collection. Michael, in a panic, puts sequin pockets on all of his outfits. He is then sued by David Hasselhoff. Uli wins and for the next 8 years everyone will look like they're going to a cocktail party in Miami. Eh. It's still a better conclusion than Season 2.